Dear editor Chuck,
Between reports on the antics of your landlord, that ill-tempered cat, and Fresno State’s Randa Jarrar, I see a sharp connection. And I gather we might not be hearing much from one or the other of you in the future.
Randa says you have to leave the editor’s job because you’re powerful and genetically evil. And the cat seems to say you have to leave because he’s powerful and genetically evil. Evil, evil, everywhere there’s pushy evil, at least according to the mouth of one and the claws of the other, or visa-versa.
Of the obstreperous two, only the cat is surely wrong, because I don’t think he can open the back door or the refrigerator door or much less shop for cat food.
As for Jarrar, I’m confused. If you were as powerful as Jarrar claims, the cat would be a well trained sit-stay-come’eer-er and roll upside-down for claw clipping on command.
But Jarrar appears to be as non-compliant as the cat, and is, likewise, still collecting “her fair share” of our (we tax- and tuition-payers) $110,000 per year at CSUF. As you’ve long needed to do with Scratcher-The-Cat, this time, president Joe needs to close the door on his problem too.
I think the job interviewers in both cases failed the sharpness test and you and Joe need to replace what seem like deconstructionist parasites with something a little less hostile.
Finally, there’s at least one good thing can be said about the cat: at least he isn’t paid to be an egocentric college professor teaching by example hundreds of literature students how to densely lace hate speech with expletives from an anti-intellectualist’s gutter.
— Clay Daulton,
Madera