Letters: Can you pick the ONE true statement?

1. Ice pick lobotomies cure mental illness.

2. Regularly drinking radioactive water brightens your smile.

3. Trump’s 2020 reelection bars him from running for a third term in 2024.

4. Col. Sanders was the Revolutionary War hero who invented Originalism.

5. You must be smart to vote.

6. Church and State work together because God needs advice from politicians.

7. Saying that “I saw it on the internet” builds up your credibility.

8. The Jan. 6, 2021 terrorist attack on the U.S. capitol was an Antifa plot.

9. School boards banning what already isn’t taught raises student test scores.

10. Kevin McCarthy’s lying about lying is a double negative equaling the truth.

11. Jesus was most likely not born on December 25th.

12. “Replacement Theory” is a form of CDC approved psychological therapy for insecure, underachieving, racist white men.

13. Those who want to ban Mexican immigrants also want to ban Cinco de Mayo celebrations. Que? No mas tequila?

14. The COVID-19 vaccine contains a living organism with tentacles causing babies to be born transhuman. Mostly in Florida and Texas.

15. “God helps those who help themselves” is a quote from the Bible.

16. All the Founding Fathers were born in America.

17. GOP culture wars create jobs, reduce inflation, and heal our country.

18. Puckering your face like Tucker Carlson relieves hemorrhoids.

19. Losing in court 60 times makes you a winner.

20. The First Amendment right to free speech is the only right that precedes the 2nd Amendment.

Does the truth matter anymore? It does to me. There is no upside to ignorance. Que? No mas tequila? (No. 11 is true).

— Charles Wieland,

Madera